


No Future

by xBubble_Teax



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Blindness, Car Accidents, Character Death, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 20:30:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10929495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xBubble_Teax/pseuds/xBubble_Teax
Summary: Kai is only fifteen when his class is involved in a tragic accident; with life changing consequences. Reita, his only brother and remaining family, tries to find the strength to encourage Kai to keep living... For both of them...





	No Future

*

“Is he going to be alright?”

Reita stared at the doctor; merely a student who had no doubt only just acquired his official medical degree.

Maybe this was a reason for his knowledge on medicine to be ignored. Perhaps Reita should have gotten a second opinion.

Only he couldn’t.

For the sole reason that in the room past his shoulder, there lay a very fragile life. One that Reita feared wouldn’t make it, that was damaged too badly that he would never recover; would never laugh; never smile; never once utter Reita’s name ever again.

And from past experience, Reita knew that doctors never lied about the state of life. He knew this even as his parents left him, in this very same hospital.

And now Kai was –

Reita swallowed as the doctor sighed sympathetically in front of him, nudging his glasses a little further up his nose,

“The extent of the damage is pretty much stable at the moment.” Reita ignored the administrative tone to look into what his words meant for his brother, “He has a few broken bones and we managed to successfully stop the bleed in his lower abdomen –“ the man hesitated, and Reita suspected he was using the trick of giving the good news first, before intending to reveal the bad, and shoot Reita’s hopes back down again,

“What is it?” Reita’s voice was croaky from lack of water; however all attention had dissipated from his own health to worry for Kai’s alone,

“I’m sorry...” the doctor whispers, and glances over his shoulder, to where Reita can almost imagine Kai’s frail form lying defencelessly behind closed doors,

“He’s lost his eyesight.” the doctor murmurs.

The blood drains from Reita’s face... 

But he fights back the tears, holding himself together for the sake of his younger sibling; of whom people used to say they looked like twins. It took a while for Reita to let the news sink in, and he hated it as the doctor stood in front of him with a clipboard, watching with assertive eyes as Reita slumped back against the wall, his head clutched in his hands. Trying not to worry about what Kai would miss; how he would never see Reita’s face again... never see colours... never again lay eyes on the snow that he loves to play so much in during winter,

“B-But he’s...” Reita let a much needed breath slip past his lips, and raised his head to focus on the positive outlook on this, “He’s going to be fine? He’s going to live?”

The doctor just nods, “We’ll do whatever we can to help Kai in the future. For now, I think he just needs his family.”

Reita watches numbly as the young man holds his arm out towards the door behind him, and Reita swallows hard,

“He may look a bit...” the doctor twists his mouth and Reita clenches his fists either side of him; unable to keep them from shaking, “But considering the circumstances, Kai was very lucky to have come out of the accident alive. The truck wasn’t breaking the speed limit however... it was carrying acid.”

“Is that... what hurt him?” Reita whispers, tears pricking his eyes,

“He has minor burns along his arms and shoulders. The most damage done was to his eyes...”

Reita sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose,

“I’m sorry we weren’t able to save it sooner. With a bit of luck, training might help his eyesight return. Little by little...”

Reita nods, no longer anything to say, and instead finds his feet as a nurse holds open the door for him.

It’s a shock when Reita’s eyes settle on his little brother; a small body wired up and pale in the middle of the room; a private, individual side room especially for his condition, no doubt,

“Oh God, Kai...” Reita whispers, as he edges nearer,

“We’ve left the bandage off of his eyes for now.” the doctor murmurs quietly, and Reita almost forgets he’s there next to him, “The skin is still red and irritated but not all of the acid has left his skin. If we try to clean it, we may damage the skin further.” 

It didn’t have to take a doctor to say it; Reita could already see the wetness streaking the upper half of Kai’s face, irritating a small part of his forehead as well,

“So we’ve left the bandage off.” the doctor finished, as Reita took hold of Kai’s pale hand, bandaged and wrapped in a cast, as well as his left leg, which was suspended high in the air, held up by a sling at the end of the bed,

“It would have only caused him more pain...” the doctor says gently, as Reita feels himself breaking at Kai’s side, the brunette sleeping so peacefully like an angel against the white sheets, tubes running along his face, disappearing up his nose . . 

“Does he know?” Reita murmurs, almost numb... almost afraid to touch any other part of him,

“No. He’s only just come out of surgery.” the doctor replies, “He should wake up in a couple of hours.”

Reita shook his head. ‘Wake up’ wasn’t something Kai could do any more... at least not without facing the darkness that consciousness is supposed to free you from. 

Reita’s shaking fingers ran over Kai’s forehead; the part that wasn’t scalded, and he hoisted himself carefully on the bed beside Kai; once the doctor had left them alone and a nurse had told Reita it was okay for him to.

He took care to avoid the tubes and cables tying Kai to beeping machines like a robot and he wondered how he was going to tell him, torn with himself that he wouldn’t be able to take Kai in his arms and hold him if he took the news badly.

‘If’, Reita scoffed, there is no ‘if’ – of course he’s going to take it badly.

_ He’s only fifteen for crying out loud ...  _

Reita had listened to the steady bleeping of Kai’s weak heart rate as the minutes ticked by... and they soon turned to hours when Reita felt a flicker of movement against his fingers – on his hand holding Kai’s.

Reita’s head snapped up immediately, and he lifted his head from Kai’s pillow to look at him; his eyes scrolling back and forth underneath his eyelids, his chest rising and falling erratically as the beeping machine took note of the increased heart acceleration,

“Kai?” Reita murmured, wiping his wet cheeks with the back of his hand and sitting up a little straighter, Kai now coming fully awake as his head rolled left and right gently against the pillow,

“N-N-Nii-chan?” the strained whisper erupted deep within Kai’s throat and Reita threaded his fingers through Kai’s hair, wanting to reassure him that he’s fine,

“I’m here, Kai, I’m here...” Reita chanted over and over, surprised at how calm his voice was in comparison to the panic making his stomach drop as Kai screwed up his eyes.

Kai’s eyebrows furrowed and he winced, hissing as the acid most likely stung him with the movement and he whimpered, Reita increasing his hold on his hand,

“No, no, Kai, don’t open your eyes...” Reita says gently, relieved when Kai does as he’s told, sinking his head back into the pillow again. If anything, Reita doesn’t want Kai to cause any more damage but at the same time knows how scared Kai would suddenly become if he couldn’t see anything.

It’s that thought that makes Reita’s eyes well up, and he presses himself closer to his brother, hoping if Kai felt him there, he would feel a little more at ease,

“Nii-chan w-what’s happening?” Reita finds his finger chasing a tear running down Kai’s cheek, catching it before it falls from his chin, “W-Where am I?! I feel... I feel strange –“

“It’s alright Kai.” Reita says softly, feeling Kai squeeze his hand a little tighter and it makes his heart ache, “You’re in hospital... there’s been an accident.”

“W-What accident?!” Kai asks, scared now, and Reita assumes Kai was knocked out solid when their school bus collided with that truck,

“Kai, honey, your bus crashed on the highway this morning...” Reita begins gently, horrified as Kai’s eyes snap open just a touch, “Keep your eyes closed, Kai!” Reita says again, more firmer this time and with a sense of panic; a tone of which Kai picks up on and he only cries harder,

“Nii-chan, what’s wrong!? Am I hurt bad? What about my friends? What kind of accident!!? Nii-chan, please, I don’t understand!!”

Despite himself, Kai somehow finds the strength to bring his good arm across to cling onto Reita’s shirt, and the older merely pushes it back, not wanting Kai to hurt himself,

“I know, Kai, I know this is hard...” Reita whispers, as Kai lets out a frustrated cry and thumps his head back on the pillow, “But listen to me, okay? You’ve broken your right arm and your left leg...”

Kai nods, and Reita maybe thinks he can’t feel either of those body parts right now, most likely due to the large amount of pain relief the doctors had given him, 

“And you have a few scars and bruises.” Reita strokes Kai’s cheek gently, as the younger’s bottom lip wobbles at the news, “And there was some bleeding inside your abdomen but that’s fine now. The doctors have fixed that.” 

“And my eyes?” Kai asks the dreaded question, and Reita tries hard not to tense up, knowing Kai will notice if he does, “Why can’t I open them?”

Reita feels his hand being squeezed tighter the more the seconds tick by and Kai doesn’t get an answer,

“They’re...” Reita hesitates, watching as Kai bites his lip nervously, “They’re just a little sore.... that’s all. The doctor says you have to keep them closed. Just for now...” He’s always hated lying, but Reita feels he has no choice. He can’t tell Kai in this state, not the way he is now, drugged up and scared and in so much pain. That wouldn’t be fair at all,

“N-Nii-chan, am I going to die?” Kai breaks into sobs in front of him and Reita runs a hand, as best as he can, along the younger’s arm, hoping Kai’s senses are aware enough to feel his touch,

“No, Kai, don’t be silly.” Reita tries to laugh, but jokes are far from appropriate right now, “You’re going to be okay. The doctors said so. The worst is over now, honey.”

Still, Kai continues to sob in front of him, and Reita’s heart clutches at seeing his brother in such a way. Everyone had always said how Reita was doing well to bring Kai up on his own, being legally able now he’d reached eighteen years old, but now look what had happened.

Kai’s class were supposed to be on a field trip today... but look at him now. If anything, Reita wanted to turn back time; back to this morning, when Kai was smiling and excited, telling Reita to hurry up and pack his lunch before he missed the bus,

“It’s okay, Kai.” Reita murmurs softly, inching forward even more to wrap an arm around Kai’s waist; the best a hug he can manage at the moment, “It’s okay, I’m here... You’re safe.”

“And what about my friends?” Kai wept, and Reita vaguely wondered how his tears weren’t aggravating the acid still on his skin, “Are they okay? W-What about Aoi? Is he alright?”

Reita shook his head, then suddenly remembered Kai couldn’t see him, “I... I don’t know, Kai.”

“Oh God he’s dead isn’t he?!” Kai’s voice breaks with the strain and Reita notices the nurse from before hurry in, but ignores her to comfort Kai,

“No, no, Kai, come on now, don’t think like that. He’s probably here in this hospital.”

Later, Reita asked the nurse if she knew anything of Aoi’s condition,

“His last name is Shiroyama.” Reita tells her, vaguely remembering the brunette’s introduction when Kai had invited him round for dinner one night after school.

In a way, he already had a dreaded feeling of the outcome as she checked the hospital records on the computer and after a minute’s more searching, she finally turned to Reita solemnly and shook her head.

So when Reita returned again to Kai’s ward the following day, he had double the bad news to share, and was heartbroken at the thought of how _he_ was going to break _Kai’s heart_ as well,

“No...” Kai murmured, and it was agonising enough just to see the way his fists clenched against the sheets, the way his bottom lip was already trembling while his stomach squeezed with the pain, “No, NO! Nii-chan, you must have made a mistake -!!”

“There is no mistake, Kai.” Reita murmured, as gently as he could laid against Kai’s side once more, and he pressed himself closer to his younger sibling; if anything wanting to take all this grief and pain away from him. Hell, if he could Reita would swap places with him, just to see him smile again. God, if anything that was all he wanted to see. 

A smile...

A few weeks after that, and after both of Kai’s casts had been removed and the broken bones left to heal, Reita found the younger was crying more now that Reita could properly hold him in his arms,

“N-Nii-chan?” Kai whispered, lifting his head from Reita’s shoulder to look up at him... from behind fresh bandages, “How long did the doctors say it would take for my eyes to heal?”

Reita simply kissed his forehead, running his fingers through the soft brown hair smoothly to calm the anxiety present in his voice, “I’ll get the doctor to come in and explain.”

He knew he was a coward; Kai should have heard it from Reita himself, if not now but weeks ago,

“I’m very sorry, Kai.” An older consultant this time, and Reita guessed the younger doctor had either gained a demotion or he’d realised that he’d wasted seven years of his life with a fake aspiration for medicine– Reita hadn’t seen him on the ward for the past three weeks, and no good student takes a holiday _that_ long.

Kai squeezed Reita’s hand, and by the shocked look on his face, Reita knew his daydreaming had inadvertently blocked out the doctor’s diagnosis,

“I’m... I’m blind?” Kai’s voice was barely a whisper, and Reita felt his heart break there and then, “I-I don’t understand! Y-You told me that they would heal –“

“- We tried everything we could, Kai, I’m sorry.” the doctor merely murmurs, looking apologetic as he stared into Kai’s bandaged eyes, though for what reason Reita didn’t know; maybe it was for his benefit alone that he tried to act sincere when he probably had twenty other patients all expecting the same look; the one of care and compassion, the look that made people believe their doctor was going to do everything they could to save them, to fix them. Because they ‘cared’,

“It’s okay.” Reita whispers, as the doctor realises Kai no longer has any more questions to ask, and he instead resorts to numbness, slouching against the pillow and staring into darkness...

It takes a moment for the sobs to find themselves, and the doctor leaves them alone... as usual. 

And Reita does what any other brother would do; he comforts him. Consoles him, reassures him, although in a bleak world where shapes and objects and outlines of those you love are no longer available to you, comfort doesn’t exist,

“Why?” Kai sobs heavily into Reita’s shoulder, for the third day in a row now, “N-Nii-chan why?! This... This isn’t fair, I’m... I’m not ready! I – I can’t live like this Nii-chan, I can’t!”

Reita had already cried – out in the hospital corridor, completely alone before Uruha had called in, asking how everything was. And Reita had sat with the blonde and cried in Uruha’s arms until midnight; much like Kai himself just now, and Reita didn’t know what to say.

Because what _was_ there to say? At age fifteen, Kai was still so young and there were so many things he had to see, to do, to experience; the very sight of which had been cruelly robbed from him; taken his future in his hands and torn it into tiny pieces, much like his heart,

“Don’t say that.” Reita whispers instead, his lips pressing against Kai’s forehead once more; a spot that Reita had found recurring each time he did it, “Kai, you can live. You _will_ live. People do this every day, it’s going to be just fine –“

“HOW is it?!” Kai screams, but presses himself tighter into his brother’s arms, his hands clinging to Reita’s T-shirt with the most strength available, even his broken one, “I can’t see anything! I don’t know what this room looks like, I don’t... I don’t know what _you_ look like today... I don’t – I can’t –“

“- You used to always say that you hated looking at my ugly mug whenever we fell out,” Reita reminds him, as lightly as dared possible, and Kai makes a noise – halfway between a sob and a laugh,

“The world is so dark... Nii-chan,” Kai cries, and Reita instinctively presses him tighter to him, wanting to shield him from that as much as possible, “I feel like I’m all alone. That-That no one is here with me. That there are no people, no animals... no _life_ Nii-chan and I know you’re there. I can hear you! I can feel you touching me but I just... I just –“

“I know, honey, I know.” Reita whispers, hushing him further as Kai’s body convulses again, letting a few more cries slip past those lips, “There is a way to get through this. It’s still early days yet. I will help you any way I can, I promise.”

To Reita’s small surprise there is a pause, and the room is suddenly quiet. Slowly, Reita feels Kai’s head removing itself from his shoulder and he pulls back, his face a streaky mess,

“Kai?” Reita asks, smoothing a finger across his skin, wiping those tears away lovingly,

“You’d do anything?” Kai asks, almost shyly, and Reita nods... then inwardly curses himself,

“Yes. Anything for you Kai, I promise.”

It seems forever before Kai looks up, amazingly into Reita’s eyes at a perfect angle, as though he could see past the bandage after all,

“Would you kill me?”

Reita’s face pales...

And it is when the older is too stunned to answer that Kai picks up on the tension and fumbles around for the blonde’s hands,

“Please, Nii-chan, you said you would do anything.”

Reita finally finds his voice, and it comes out in a harsh croak, “Kai, you don’t know what you’re saying –“

“I do!!” Kai struggles to sit up on the bed, and Reita can’t help but hold out his arms around him protectively in case he should fall, “Nii-chan, please, you promised.”

Reita hesitated, his eyes running over how pale and skinny Kai looked, “N-No, Kai... I couldn’t. I would never forgive myself –“

“- I can’t bear to live like this Nii-chan.” Kai was sobbing again, so hard that he had slumped forward, his head meeting Reita’s knees, “Not in a world where there is no colour... no face to a name!! I can’t, Nii-chan, please!”

“Kai, don’t ask me to do this...” Reita leaned forward too, placing his hands on Kai’s head and rubbing it gently, his newly formed tears soaking the strands on the back of Kai’s head,

“Please, Nii-chan...” Kai sobbed against the sheets, scrunching them in his hands, “The pain is too much, I don’t want to live like this!”

Reita almost screamed. No, he couldn’t do this. Kai was just upset, drugged, not thinking clearly, it was just a side effect... yes... just a side effect,

“Kai, stop it now...” Reita begins, his own sobs swallowing his voice in the same way Kai’s do, “You stop this right now! You don’t talk like that!”

“I would rather DIE!!” Kai screams against his brother’s knees and the very words break Reita’s heart completely, the scared and lost little boy in front of him wanting nothing more than the simple ability to lay eyes on something. Anything.

But he can’t.  

Reita pulls Kai up by his shoulders, and if he could he would have made him look him in the eye, “Listen to me, honey, alright? Right now, I know you’re scared... I know, Kai, I know. But we can get through this. You and me. You remember? When Mom and Dad died?”

A succession of sobs spill past Kai’s lips and he nods weakly, his fingers hanging on limply to Reita’s elbows,

“Please, Kai, you’ve all I’ve got left in this world.” Reita says tearfully, taking Kai’s hands in his own and squeezing them hard, “If I lose you, what have I got left to live for?”

Kai shakes his head, “No... Nii-chan, I want to die. I want to –“

“- You remember the pain we felt after Mom and Dad died?!” Reita cuts him off desperately, feeling the younger’s hands trembling in his own, “The hurt, the grief, how we couldn’t eat or drink for days... Kai you would do the same to me?!”

“It hurts Nii-chan!” Kai screams back at him, his hands ripping from Reita’s hold and hitting him weakly on the chest, occasionally missing and swiping air instead, “I don’t want to live when I can’t see! I want to know that the world is still there – and you know how much I love art!”

Kai finally settles, and slouches back on his shins, “What good is a painter when you can’t see the paper or the colours?” he mumbled, tears dousing the sheets as they fell from his eyes, “I want to go to college... I want to study art, Nii-chan, what good is that to me now?”

“There are people that can help, Kai...”

“I don’t WANT help!!” Reita watches as Kai holds his head in his hands, wincing as his eyes noticeably scrunch up behind the bandages, “I just want this all to stop. I wish this had never happened! I wish that we never went on that stupid trip... I wish... I wish...” Kai collapsed into sobs, moaning in pain again as his eyes screwed up,

“Easy, Kai, easy...” Reita murmurs, taking him into his arms, "Shhhh...” 

“Aoi –“ Kai whispers, shaking visibly in Reita’s hold, “Aoi... I want him back. I wish he’d never died.”

Kai groaned into Reita’s shoulder and the blonde squeezed him tighter, his hands working to stroke his back, to smooth through the strands of his hair, 

“If Aoi was a true friend, Kai, he wouldn’t have wanted you to end your life like this now, would he?” Reita murmurs gently, forcing the sobs welling in his throat back down again, “He would have wanted you to be happy, and live your life as much as you can, even if it is without him –“

To Reita’s despair, Kai whimpers loudly,

“Aoi wasn’t just my friend!!” he cries, and Reita struggles to keep him still while his body represses violent shudders against him, “I... I loved him!”

“Loved him?” Reita blinked,

Kai pants a little, “He... We were together, Nii-chan. He was my boyfriend!”

Kai’s sexuality had never bothered Reita... and it certainly wasn’t going to bother him now. He too, after all, was the same; it was only inevitable Kai would follow suit,

“Aoi...” Kai moans, “Aoi... Aoi...”

Reita kisses his forehead, rocking him until he falls asleep.

*

“Nii-chan?”

Reita’s eyes feel incredibly heavy, and he struggles to force them open, the hardness of the hospital chair making his bones ache as he tries to shuffle,

“Nii-chan, are you here? Nii-chan!”

Reita stretches and yawns, and has to blink several times before the room comes into view; Kai patting the bed beside him frantically, 

“Nii-chan... Nii-chan!!”

“It’s alright, Kai, I’m here, I’m here.” Reita says softly, rushing over and reaching out to hold Kai’s hand scouring the bed sheets,

“Oh...” in the dim light, Kai’s cheeks flushed, “I’m sorry. I thought you’d gone –“

“- No, never.” Reita smiles, “I was just catching a bit of sleep, that’s all.”

Kai frowns, “W-What time is it?”

Reita glances to the clock on the wall, “About two.”

“In the morning?”

“Yes.”

Kai sighs and leans back, “I had the best dream, Nii-chan.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah...” Kai chews on his lip thoughtfully, and Reita has to admit it’s the most beautiful thing he’s seen in the past two months,

“So, are you going to tell me about it?”

Kai pouts with a smile as Reita pokes him in the belly, and it makes Reita want to do it again and again.

Kai hasn’t smiled for so long,

“We were in a meadow...” Kai says dreamily, and Reita feels him pull his hand towards him; a habit he’d developed recently, whenever he wanted a cuddle or a pair of arms to cry into,

“And me and Aoi were just sat on the grass.” Kai continues, nestling himself into Reita’s chest once the blonde slips comfortably by his side, “And it was so green, Nii-chan. The greenest meadow I had ever seen. And there were all these funny flowers... like bright yellow and orange.”

Reita smiles as Kai does, 

“And the sky was so blue and I could hear birds chirping away in the trees above our heads.” Kai says, as Reita smooths an arm around his shoulders, “And the best thing was... I could see everything. The sun was so bright and then... there were clouds –“ Kai broke off,

“What happened then?” Reita asked after a minute, his fingers absent-mindedly tracing shapes on Kai’s shoulder,

“Aoi pulled me up into the sky,” Kai admits, pausing again to think, “And then he let go and drifted away, towards the clouds...” Kai sighs, and lifts his head up,

“I’m sorry, Nii-chan,” he whispers, and Reita’s eyebrows furrow, “I-I never meant what I said... about dying. I just... I just wanted to –“

“I know.” Reita says gently, rubbing his hand up and down Kai’s arm for reassurance, “I understand.”

“You will be there won’t you?” 

Reita smiles once, brushing a few strands of hair out of Kai’s eyes, “Always.”

“Then... Can you take these bandages off?”

Reita frowns, “Kai, I don’t think –“

“- Please Nii-chan.” Kai lays a hand on his chest, “I want to see for myself. I want to know what it’ll feel like. Just once.”

Reita sighs, “... Okay.”

Carefully, Kai turns his head to the side, and with slightly trembling fingers, Reita sets about untying the knot at the back of Kai’s head, unravelling the layers one by one,

“Does it hurt still?” Reita asks carefully, pausing in his movements as Kai winces,

“Only a little. They just ache a bit now.”

The white material still sticks to Kai’s skin a touch; even after so much time to heal and the brunette flinches gently as Reita pries it away,

“There.” Reita murmurs, setting the unravelled roll next to him on the bed.

The extent of the damage wasn’t that bad now; a bit of red flesh here and there but other than a few scars, Kai looked as perfect as ever to Reita’s eyes,

“How does it look?” Kai asks shakily, as Reita shuffles in front of him to look properly, 

“Absolutely perfect.” he smiles,

Kai extends a finger out and Reita bends his head so that he can poke him in the forehead,

“You’re just saying that –“ Kai blushes, and giggles lowly before turning serious,

“Just take your time.” Reita whispers, “There’s no rush.”

Kai nods and his eyebrows deepen as he concentrates, his eyelids flickering each time he tries.

Eventually, with gentle encouragement and at two twenty-one in the morning, Kai’s eyes crack open a touch,

“That’s it, Kai.,” Reita smiles gently, Kai’s hands placed limply on his knees,

“Am-Am I doing it?” Kai whispers, and before long his eyes are fully open and Reita tries not to gasp; both of them completely bloodshot and watering in sufficient amounts, most of the liquid spilling over and pouring down Kai’s cheeks.

Reita reached immediately for a tissue, dabbing under them with such gentle care,

“Yes.” Reita murmurs, letting out a rush of air, “You’ve done it, Kai. They’re open now.”

Kai releases a shaky breath too, and he blinks as Reita moves to wipe the corners of his eyes,

“God, this feels so weird...” Kai breathes shakily, “It’s just, it’s just... black, Nii-chan.”

Reita doesn’t know what to say, so lays a hand on his cheek once all the tears have gone, his thumb stroking Kai’s skin,

“God...” Kai mumbles, and Reita watches as his pupils struggle to work, scuttling around wildly before finally moving still, and then moving steadily left and right, up and down...

“Nii-chan...” Kai says after a while, and Reita sits up, “Do you think that- maybe... we can –“

Reita pats his knee and is replacing the bandage soon enough,

“We can do this right?” Kai says later, tucked safely back in bed and in the safety of his brother’s arms, “I can learn how to live can’t I?”

Reita places a kiss to his cheek, “Of course you can.”

Kai nods, “Okay. But, I want to do one thing first. Before anything else.”

Reita presses him closer, “And what’s that?”

Kai’s hands scrunch up against his shirt, “Take me to Aoi. Take me to his grave, Nii-chan?”

Reita smiles sadly, “Of course, Kai. As soon as I can, I will.”

Kai yawns, and Reita feels him shuffle around, before long knowing that he will drop off to sleep any time soon, 

“Oh and Nii-chan?”

“Yes, Kai?”

“I love you.”

*

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Cross-posted fic from my LiveJournal <3 Quite dark, but sweet in a way. Please enjoy <3


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